


Flickering

by bekindplsrewind



Series: Dancing in the Dark [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: 'acquaintances', Adam and Michael are in an awkward phase of their 'relationship', Adam is the kindest most compassionate cinnamon roll out there, Bittersweet moments, Gen, Michael's Wings, Not Yet Friends, Past Memories, and we all must protect him :'((((, but no longer enemies, elusive mention of Adam's and Sam's trauma, they share a moment and bond, time in the cage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:34:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25288396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bekindplsrewind/pseuds/bekindplsrewind
Summary: When Michael shuts himself off in the cage, Adam ties it to a childhood memory with his mother and a dying bird. They share a moment and bond.
Relationships: Adam Milligan & Kate Milligan, Michael & Adam Milligan, Pre-relationship Michael/Adam Milligan
Series: Dancing in the Dark [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1832038
Comments: 12
Kudos: 44





	Flickering

**Author's Note:**

> i just keep getting ideas of what it might have been like in the cage for them, and NOW i'm getting plagued by adam's time with kate D:. HALP! this is like two stories in one, or a story with a bonus story. these fics are getting its own series [is this good or bad??] and is a prequel to the ['a/part'](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1795276) series.
> 
> thank you to the wonderful [fantastikitty7](https://fantastikitty7.tumblr.com/) [kat!] for the beta!

Flickering: (of a flame or light) burning or shining unsteadily; wavering.  
Moving to and fro; vibrating; quivering.

* * *

Adam was twelve when he was awoken by the sound of something scuttling in his walls. He pushed himself up from his mattress and groggily peered around his room with half closed eyes. Everything was still as traces of dawn filtered in past his partially drawn blinds. In his half daze, he wondered if he’d dreamt it all up, when a loud banging and shrill squeaking had him leaping out of bed and running downstairs to his mother’s bedroom.

He knocked on the door before pushing through. “Mom,” he shook her sleeping form gently, visibly shaken and scared, “there’s something in my room.”

“What…?” Her voice was muffled and slurred as she rolled over.

“I heard something in my walls.”

At that, Kate immediately snapped up and swung her legs over the bed. She marched over to her closet and pulled out a wooden bat. “Adam, it’s going to be okay, all right?” She stroked his cheek and smiled at him reassuringly. “I won’t let it touch you.” Adam frowned, confused by what she meant. The features of her face were set in tense lines and her eyes were hard and filled with a feral determination. She took on a militant like stance, her entire composure alert and on edge like she knew what she was doing, like she had been preparing for this.

“Mom!” Adam scurried after her as she trudged out the door, grabbing her by the elbow.

“Honey, stay back,” she said.

“Mom, no!” Adam clung to her and challenged her with a defiant stare, his lips pressing together into a tight line. “You’re not going alone!”

“I’m _trying_ to protect you!” she said in her stern, motherly tone.

“Then who’s gonna protect you?” He frowned at her, the worry in his eyes overshadowing his stubbornness.

Kate sighed and lowered her bat out of defeat. “Okay,” she nodded, pressing him to her chest as she held him. She ran a soothing hand over his shoulders and back. “Stay behind me, though. And if I tell you to run, run. Got that?”

Adam nodded. “Okay.”

He followed her as they crept up the stairs, Kate raising the bat up again like she was ready to strike a home run.

The door creaked softly as she nudged it wide open and they cautiously peeked inside; his room was just as he had left it, the sheets lying rumpled on his bed. Adam held his breath in the silence. The anticipation of not knowing when something was going to happen was making him more anxious. He jumped as the noises started again, a clattering like dancing fingernails across a hard surface, and squawking that ran through the wall along his bed.

“Stay here.” Kate gripped the bat tight with both hands and held it out in front of her as she stalked in slowly. Adam stood by the doorway and watched her from behind. The noises continued by the head of his bed before going silent, causing Kate to pause a moment before she tapped the wall with the end of the bat. Something fluttered and squawked in response. Kate sank her knees down onto Adam’s bed and shuffled towards the wall, the bat still clutched in her hand but at ease as it rested against the mattress.

“Mom, don’t!” Adam cried as she pressed her ear to the wall. She put her finger to her lips as she continued to listen. Adam bobbed on the heels of his feet, scared for his mother’s safety. Finally, Kate sank back and heaved a long and tired sigh, the tautness in her body seeming to evaporate in that one, long stream of breath.

She turned to look at him. “It’s okay, Adam, there’s nothing to worry about. It’s just a bird.”

“A… a bird…?” Adam scrunched his face up in confusion, the fear slowly ebbing down.

“It must have gotten under the eaves or roof and into one of the vents.”

“Can it get out?”

Kate’s expression softened. “Sorry, honey, there isn’t much we can do. We don’t have the money to call an exterminator. We’re gonna have to let nature take its course.”

“‘Take its course’?” Adam blinked rapidly as the corners of his lips dipped into a frown. “You mean let it _die?”_ He shook his head. “No, you can’t.” The bird squawked again. “It sounds like it’s hurt, mom!” Adam gestured at the wall with an outstretched arm. “It’s all alone in a dark and scary place with no way of getting out. We need to help it! Please!” he pleaded, blinking back the tears that began wetting his lashes.

“Adam—”

“I can’t go back to sleep when I can hear it fighting for its life right next to my head. Come on, mom, you’re a nurse! Aren’t you supposed to help save lives?”

Kate let out a heavy sigh and sat momentarily in silence as she shook her head, then pushed herself off the bed. Turning around, she hunched over and grabbed the edge of the bed frame from underneath.“You’re gonna have to get over here and help me with this,” she said, over her shoulder. “I can’t move it by myself, you know?” 

Adam quickly wiped his eyes with his forearm before standing next to her and assumed the same position. “Thanks, mom,” he said, quietly.

They moved the bed aside and listened to where the bird was trapped. Using a utility knife, they cut a hole the size of a tennis ball near the bottom of the wall, then shone a flashlight around as they peered inside. After unsuccessfully locating it, a lamp was set next to the area in hopes that the light would lure the bird out instead.

They waited until the hours of dawn had turned into morning and sunlight filled the room. Sitting with his back against the door, Adam was ever vigilant of any noises coming from the wall. Kate had gone downstairs to prepare breakfast and later returned with a plate of scrambled eggs and bread.

“Later, mom, it hasn’t come out, yet.”

“Well, geez, you gotta eat,” she said. She took a seat next to him and handed him the plate. “How about I keep watch while you have your breakfast?”

Adam sighed and eventually nodded, placing the plate in his lap as he sandwiched some of the eggs between his bread. He ate quickly and resumed his post.

From time to time, they would hear the bird flutter around and squawk. Adam would check if he could see it from the opening they had made, but all he got was the insulation and interior of the wall. Some hours later, a clamorous clattering started and stopped just as abruptly. It was followed by long and persistent squeaking.

“I can see it!” Adam exclaimed, discovering a visible wing from his limited point of view. With rubber gloves, Kate blindly reached where it was trapped between the insulation and the panels.

“I’ve got it,” she announced. Carefully, she extracted her hand from the wall and uncurled her fingers. The bird lay immobile in her palm, covered in dust and particles from the drywall. Its feathers were ruffled and matted and some were missing.

“It’s not moving.” Adam stared at it with furrowed brows.

“Honey, put your hands out. I need to get a few things for it.” Kate gently transferred the bird to him after Adam cupped his hands together. It was warm and he could feel it breathing as it rapidly puffed air in and out of its tiny chest. “I’ll be right back, hon,” Kate said, removing her gloves.

Adam watched it intently and gasped as its wings quivered for the briefest of moments before going still again. He stared at it, silently willing it to move. His mother returned a couple of minutes later with a towel lined shoebox and a cloth. She carefully wiped the dust off the bird, then laid it down inside the box and covered it with the lid.

“What’s wrong with it?” he asked, quietly.

“It’s undergone a lot of stress and seems to be in shock.”

“Will it be okay?”

Kate sighed. “If the little thing has enough fight in it; only time will tell. We’re just going to have to leave it in a quiet, dark place so it can recuperate on its own.”

“Can I keep it in my room?” Adam was quick to say. “I’ll take care of it and be really quiet!” he whispered.

“How about we keep it in your closet?” Kate suggested. Adam nodded and swooped up to make room on his closet floor for the shoebox, shutting it softly after Kate placed it inside. She smiled at him. “You’ve got a good heart, Adam. How was I so lucky to have you?” She wrapped her arms around him and leaned in to kiss him on the cheek.

“Aw, mom, you’re so embarrassing,” he replied as he hugged her back.

* * *

Adam kept out of his room all day and did his homework in the living room so he wouldn’t disturb the bird. He’d even gone so far as to lowering the volume when he was watching television, resorting to using closed captions. Some time in the afternoon, he tiptoed up the stairs to check on it, being quiet and gentle as he raised the lid. The bird hadn’t made any attempts at moving, but it was still breathing.

He checked on it again before bed. Clasping his hands by his mouth, Adam knelt in front of the box and whispered softly, “Please, don’t die, little bird. Please, don’t die.” He watched it carefully as he hovered above it, then replaced the lid. He kept the closet door open, making out the outline of the shoebox from his bed.

The next morning, his mother announced that she had gotten ahold of a wildlife rehabilitator they could take the bird to. Adam bounded up the stairs excitedly to retrieve the shoebox after they’d finished breakfast. He cracked the lid ajar and peeked inside to see how the bird was doing, only to discover that it wasn’t breathing.

“Are you ready to go?” Kate asked as Adam slowly walked into the kitchen. He carried the unlidded box with both hands and kept his gaze down, fixed inside of it.

“Mom…?” His voice wavered as he finally raised his glassy eyes to her, his frown filled with sadness.

“Oh, honey!” Kate moved forward and held him.

“It… it didn’t make it,” he said softly as he looked back down at the bird’s little body.

“I’m sorry, Adam, but you tried your best.” She kissed his forehead and rubbed his back as Adam nestled his head by his mother’s shoulder.

* * *

Michael hadn’t moved for days. At least that’s what Adam assumed, being spotty with time with where they were. He’d cocooned himself in his wings after a particularly heated argument with Lucifer, completely withdrawing into Adam’s mind where Adam now spent most of his days. Not uttering a word, he sat himself down on the opposite end of their shared space and closed himself off. Adam tried to be mindful by keeping to himself, but Michael’s silence was enough to make him worry.

Adam edged closer, watching Michael’s wings until he was crouched down in front of him. The bluish luminescence emanating off of them looked less brilliant than it normally did, like someone had turned its dimmer lights to a lower setting. They were wavering, some areas on his feathers burning brighter, like blue sparks drifting from a campfire. Comparatively, they looked lacklustre to the first time he’d seen them upon Michael’s arrival. The memory of the trapped bird flitted through Adam’s mind, then.

“Michael…?” Adam spoke with an uncertainty but was met with no response. “Michael,” he said a little louder. Adam frowned. “Don’t die,” he whispered. “Please, don’t die.”

Michael’s wings fluttered, causing Adam to fall back in surprise. The archangel finally revealed himself as he raised his face to him, parting his wings like feathery curtains—small enough to have them snap shut at a moment’s notice, but large enough for him to be seen. His knees were drawn to his chest and his arms were wrapped securely around them. “I’m not dying,” Michael replied, his voice ringing strong and clear. He fixed Adam with an unnerving stare. “I’m an immortal being who has existed since the beginning of _everything._ It would take a lot for that to ever happen. _You_ on the other hand…”

Adam let out a huff. “Well, you haven’t said a word in days,” he frowned, “I didn’t know if you were hurt or anything since you’ve been hiding behind your wings—”

Michael straightened his back and immediately snapped his wings behind him, the ethereal glow vanishing with them. _“‘My wings’?”_ His stare hardened and his mouth narrowed into a tight line.

Adam blinked. “Yeah? You just… burritoed yourself in them and I was worried.”

“You’ve _seen_ them,” Michael said, accusingly. “I don’t just show _my wings_ to anyone,” he snapped.

Adam widened his eyes before huffing a laugh in disbelief. “Whoa, okay there. Is this some angel code? _You’re_ the one that’s always flapping them around. What am I supposed to do? Look away? How was I supposed to know?” He rolled his eyes and shook his head.

 _“You_ shouldn’t be able to see them _at all.”_

“Oh, _sorry_ . I guess you’re stuck with the guy who _can.”_

“No, I mean, it is physically _impossible_ for you to see them.” Michael narrowed his eyes at him. “How are you doing this?”

“Uh… I decided I really wanted to see what primordial beings looked like, and here we are.” Michael continued to stare at him with an unbroken focus. “Geez, I’m joking! Your guess is just as good as mine; I don’t know, okay? I just can, apparently.” Adam crossed his arms. “It’s good to see you’re not dying at least, shoeboxes don’t come in your size.” Michael was unbelievably good at his poker face, but Adam caught the glimmer of confusion that crossed his eyes. “Never mind.” He sighed. Michael turned his head away from him, but he looked more vulnerable than ever without his wings shielding him. Adam pressed his lips together before speaking, “Hey. Are you… okay?” He let out another breath when Michael didn’t respond.

“No,” Michael finally said.

Adam opened his mouth in surprise. He didn’t expect him to answer, let alone with such an honest reply. He licked his lips as he tried to formulate something to say. “Do you… wanna talk about it?”

Michael took another moment to speak. “My brother, Lucifer—despite everything he’s done—even now—I still love him. Because of this, he knows precisely what to say to infuriate me.”

“What did he say?” Adam balked, suddenly realising that he was prying. “Uh, sorry, you don’t have to tell me if you’re not comfortable.”

Michael tensed and his face grew dark. _“I_ was the reason our Father left, not him. Because I wasn’t a good enough brother; I wasn’t an exemplary enough example to him and it led him astray.”

“I don’t know anything about brothers, but you are literally talking about the devil, here.”

“I practically raised him,” Michael said with deadly seriousness.

Adam sighed. “Okay, but consider the whole aspect of ‘nature versus nurture’. You’ve got more than one brother, right? Did anyone else turn out like him? Maybe it’s in his character?”

“Gabriel abandoned us,” Michael said, staring vacantly in front of him.

“But… did he commit mass murder via proxy and raise demonic cults?”

A multitude of emotions washed over Michael’s face in a span of a few seconds—incredulity, absurdity, realisation, anger, then acceptance. “No.”

Adam made a vague gesture in the air. “So… did that… did that help at all?”

“Yes, it gave me some clarity.” Michael unclenched his arms and crossed his legs with a sigh, looking a little less tense but still vulnerable.

“And you know, he purposely tries to get under your skin. He did that to me and Sam—” Adam looked away guiltily, having mentioned his name. Sam was constantly on the receiving end of Lucifer’s torment while Adam had the luxury of retreating away to safety. “You… you don’t have to tolerate that. If he gets too much to bear, take a step back and join me in here. It’s nice to have company sometimes.”

Michael watched him carefully like he was considering this. “Hmm.” He nodded curtly.

“Uh, okay, then.” Adam pushed himself to his feet and began to head back to his side.

“Thank you, Adam.” Adam stopped mid step and turned around to see Michael looking at him. Michael had never thanked him before—or anyone, as far as Adam was aware—yet the simplest form of gratitude from him had Adam vibrating.

“Y-you’re welcome.” Adam could feel his face heating up, thankful for the lack of light there for once. He strolled back to his side and sat down. Then, raising his head thoughtfully, he asked, “So, now that you’re here, and I’m here, what’s going on out there with my body?”

Michael rolled his head against the imaginary wall behind him and looked at him. “You’re essentially a vegetable.”

“Like… slacked jawed, drooling, with a vacant, unblinking stare?” Michael continued to look at him. “Cool.”

**Author's Note:**

> thank you all for reading!
> 
> these are some of my headcanons. i recently posted on tumblr my theory that kate was in the know abt john bc it didn't make sense for him to leave his number behind if he wasn't going to see her again. the only time hunters do that is if the person had been endangered/seen something, allowing them to reach out if something else happens.
> 
> since the time michael descends down on adam in the locked room and adam just... stopped to stare at him in awe, it struck me odd that his eyes didn't burn out or that he didn't just drop dead. and the _reverence_ on his face! to me, i think adam can see his wings, which was the reason why he was so enamoured by michael's presence, forgetting to run out, lol.
> 
> i hope y'all enjoyed this! leave your thoughts down below. did these events make sense, lol? i hope i kept true to their characterisations. i figured adam is still pretty sassy with him [but he still shows compassion, despite the status of their relationship], and michael is guarded but he finds adam weird. a weird kid that just grows on him. :)
> 
> come and bother me at my tumblr! [seagullmichael](https://seagullmichael.tumblr.com/)


End file.
